


On the Subject of Dinosaurs

by overwhelmingly_awesome



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Bottom Crowley (Good Omens), But Not Really Pillow Talk Because They're Still Going At It, Crack, Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley's Brain Works In Mysterious Ways, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Mentioned God (Good Omens), Neil Gaiman I Just Want To Talk, Pillow Talk, She/Her Pronouns For God (Good Omens), Top Aziraphale (Good Omens), What Happened to the Dinosaurs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:01:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23520487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/overwhelmingly_awesome/pseuds/overwhelmingly_awesome
Summary: Sometimes, a person's mind simply tends to wander, and a person (or a demon, for that matter) finds themselves with a thought that they simply cannot push away, despite their best efforts. This was one of those moments.After the apocalypse, Crowley and Aziraphale spend some quality time in bed. Unfortunately, Crowley's mind tends to wander, and they end up pondering one of life's many mysteries: the dinosaurs.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 21
Kudos: 143





	On the Subject of Dinosaurs

**Author's Note:**

> *banging pots and pans* NEIL! I HAVE QUESTIONS!!
> 
> Remember in the first episode, when God tells us that the dinosaurs aren't real? I haven't stopped thinking about that in almost a year. 
> 
> This is by far one of the dumbest things I've ever written, and I hope you enjoy it. 

Crowley leaned back against the cushy mattress, enveloped in softness from either side. Against his back, he was met with a fluffy, cloud white duvet that Aziraphale had bought, which dramatically clashed with the aesthetic of the shared room, but was admittedly very comfortable. Against his front, he was being gently and tenderly crushed by a very soft, very naked angel. 

He'd been the recipient of an eager display of Aziraphale's oral fixation, before coming once more around the angel's careful fingers. 

Now, he was being pressed down into the bed, his wiry hips aligned with the angel's, having his unnecessary organs lovingly rearranged. He wrapped his legs around Aziraphale's waist, tugging him in closer with his heels, each thrust pushing him further up the bed. He moaned loudly into his husband's ear, as the angel's lips kissed sucking constellations of marks across his neck.

After a few moments, Aziraphale's tempo began to slow. Each calculated roll of his hips dragged along deliciously inside Crowley, each thrust angled perfectly against the bundle of nerves inside him, as the angel moved slowly, yet achingly deep into the demon. 

Now, Crowley was enjoying this immensely. What happened next was not a result of a lack of pleasure, or a lack of stimulation. He hadn't gotten bored, and he still couldn't think straight, especially as his cock lay trapped beneath the convex-concave planes of their stomachs, rubbing torturously along with each gentle push of Aziraphale's hips. 

Sometimes, a person's mind simply tends to wander, and a person (or a demon, for that matter) finds themselves with a thought that they simply cannot push away, despite their best efforts. This was one of those moments. 

Aziraphale stopped his barrage of kisses for a moment, holding himself up slightly to face his lover, only to find a strange expression written across his face. He continued the ever present roll of his hips. 

"Are you alright, dearest?" He asked, his voice low, and a touch breathless. 

Crowley nodded, and hummed an affirmation. However, his expression didn't change. 

"What are you thinking about?" Aziraphale asked. As he did this, he ran a gentle hand into his husband's hair, pulling the jostled strands back from his face. 

Crowley narrowed his eyes, his brain still fuzzy from the never ending source of pleasure between his legs. 

"Mm. Can't tell you," he said, "it'd ruin the mood." 

Aziraphale furrowed his brows, and gave another mind-numbingly well placed thrust. Crowley let out a closed-mouth moan, his eyes flickering shut. 

"Try me." 

Crowley forced his eyes open. Aziraphale's face ran pink with the soft flush of exertion, his warm blue eyes meeting amber. The demon sighed, and resigned himself to his fate. 

"The dinosaurs." 

Aziraphale stilled inside Crowley, who immediately let out a whine of regret. He tried to nudge the thighs under his heels to continue their rocking, unsuccessfully. 

Aziraphale stared down at Crowley, his eyebrows drawn together quizzically. "What?"

"More precisely," Crowley said, disappointed in this turn in the proceedings, " _ why?" _

Aziraphale pulled up slightly, to have a better look at the demon under him. This shift was felt thoroughly inside Crowley, who gave a stifled gasp. 

"Why… dinosaurs?" 

"Exactly." Crowley closed his eyes, leaning back against the pillow under his head. "Why? Why did she make all of these fossils, all of this evidence that shows that the Earth is… however old the humans think it is, to have it simply not be true?" 

Aziraphale thought it over for a moment, before looking down once more at the demon. He leaned in closer, his lips hovering only an inch or so from Crowley. He looked as though he would lean down for a kiss, until his brows knit together once more. 

"You were thinking about this while we were having sex?" He asked, incredulously. 

"Not the  _ whole  _ time I just-" Crowley shrugged, and tried to defend himself, "thoughts just pop in sometimes." He felt his face growing red, and unless it was under agreed upon conditions with two fully consenting parties, he wasn't a huge fan of feeling embarrassed 

He angled his hips upwards slightly, and felt the angel's cock adjust inside him, before letting out another breathy moan. "Let's just forget about it. It's completely out of my head now. Just- just keep fucking me," he pressed a kiss to the angel's lips, before adding a soft, "please?" 

Aziraphale continued, once again finding his pace. Crowkey keened as the angel's hands found the divots above his hips, using them as a grip to pull the demon up to meet his thrusts. Crowley felt wonderfully  _ used,  _ remaining lax under each of the angel's movements. He could hear the soft pants of pleasure above him, and he knew that if he opened his eyes, he would be met with the tightly closed eyes he was so familiar with, as Aziraphale focused on his methodical way of taking apart the demon, piece by piece. 

Crowley let out another moan, before feeling Aziraphale still once more. He groaned. 

" _ Why?" _ Aziraphale asked.

Crowley clung onto the man above him, fighting to keep him from pulling away. "Why was I thinking about it, or why did She do it?" Crowley asked, exasperated. 

Aziraphale thought for a moment. "Why would she do that?" 

Crowley shrugged as best as he could in his current position. "No clue, angel. It really makes no sense." 

Aziraphale huffed once, before wrapping his hands around the backs of Crowley's knees, pushing him so that he was nearly folded in half. Crowley let out a deep throated moan, and scrambled for purchase on the sheets. 

"It's ine-" 

"If you say it's ineffable I'll pull your cock out of me myself before going to wank in the bathroom. Do  _ not  _ say it's ineffable." He gasped for air, knowing full well that he was spouting an empty threat. 

Aziraphale tilted his head, nodding in a way that said,  _ I'm right, but we'll let it slide this time.  _

As he continued to thrust into the pliant demon beneath him, Crowley could feel the sparks of pleasure melting out throughout his body. He felt the clutch of Aziraphale's hands as he held him in position, and let his eyes roll back in his head. 

Aziraphale leaned his weight forward, and Crowley felt the sting in the backs of his legs from the stretch of the position, which was quickly overshadowed by the fact that Aziraphale's slow rolls of his hips felt impossibly  _ deeper _ , each beat accompanied by stars in the corner of Crowley's vision. 

Abruptly, and with a near shout of frustration from the demon, Aziraphale stopped again. 

" _ Angel.  _ I swear to you, I'll never think of anything ever again. Just  _ please,  _ keep  _ going, _ " Crowley whined. 

Unfortunately, Aziraphale pulled back. The slow slide of his cock slipping out of Crowley brought a few little pinpricks of pleasure in the moment, but quickly faded to a deep feeling of emptiness. He clenched his teeth together tightly.

" _ Why?"  _ Aziraphale asked once more. Crowley finally sat up to face the angel, who was now sitting back on his knees in the middle of the bed, decidedly  _ not  _ fucking Crowley into next week. 

"Why indeed, angel," he sighed. "I have no explanation for you, only more questions." Those were always his specialty. 

"I feel like I've heard," Aziraphale started, his hoarse voice giving way to one that Crowley was intimately familiar with: a fond curiosity. "That some people say that it's a test, and those who don't have faith in the Bible will be punished."

Crowley raised an eyebrow and scoffed. "You know as well as I do that no one's being punished for believing in the  _ scientific proof that She's given them, _ " he paused, thinking for a moment, "or, that anyone is more likely to get into Heaven because they think dinosaurs didn't exist." 

"But they didn't exist," Aziraphale said, his posture unnaturally straight for a man-shaped-being who'd been balls deep in his companion only moments before. 

Crowley sighed. "I know that, angel." 

"But why else would She have done it? What purpose could it  _ possibly _ serve?" 

Crowley crossed his legs, and felt the ache inside him as he moved. He wanted Aziraphale back inside him as quickly as possible, and penned a mental note.  _ Next time, if Aziraphale asks what you're thinking about in bed, say 'him', or nothing at all.  _

He thought once more about the topic at hand. 

"It's not just the dinosaurs either," he said finally, accepting his fate as a thoroughly un-fucked demon. "The rocks, the continents. Why does she want to make the humans believe that the Earth is older than it is?" 

Aziraphale raised his eyebrows. "I mean, why does She do anything?"

Crowley huffed. "No. We're not getting into this right now.  _ Seconds _ ago, you were fucking me so well that I could feel your cock in the back of my throat. We are  _ not  _ questioning the Great Plan, I'm beyond that." Aziraphale raised one eyebrow, "...right now. I'm curious about this  _ one particular part of the plan. _ That's it." 

Aziraphale chuckled. "Alright." 

He pulled Crowley closer to him, drawing him into his lap. He left an achingly soft kiss against the demon's lips, which began to perk up the slightly flagging arousals between them, but before Crowley could chase the kiss back into Aziraphale's mouth, the angel pulled away. 

"A joke?" He asked. 

"A  _ joke _ ?" Crowley sputtered. 

"I mean, She must do  _ something  _ to keep Herself occupied Up There," Aziraphale said, running his fingers down the bare slope of Crowley's shoulder. 

"... so you think She planted a billion dinosaur fossils - giant fucking chicken lizards - and layers of rocks and whatever evidence the humans have of those bloody shifting continents just to… what? Watch them go 'oh, finally we're understanding the universe!' Just for Her to yank the metaphorical carpet out from under them later?" Crowley tried to keep his voice from sounding too defeated, as the combination of frustration and arousal had him feeling uncomfortably on edge. He contemplated simply rutting up against Aziraphale's soft stomach, where he was currently tucked up against, but he worried that Aziraphale would pull him away again. 

"Do you think She'll ever reveal to them that it's not real?" He asked softly.

"Wouldn't She have done it by now?" 

Aziraphale sighed. "I have no idea." He leaned forwards, gently toppling back on top of his loving demon. Crowley kept himself from letting out a whoop, as he finally found himself pressed back into the mattress, Aziraphale's cock rubbing gently against him. "I suppose we'll never know."

"I'm sorry we can't sate your curiosity, angel," he said, settling himself back under his lover, and wrapping his legs around the study hips above him. 

Aziraphale hummed. He pressed another kiss to Crowley's lips, this time slightly more desperate, with the angel's tongue pressed softly against his in the demon's open mouth. 

"How about," he spoke against the demon's kiss bitten lips, "you help me take my mind off of it?" 

Crowley grinned. He felt the angel softly prodding against his entrance, his breath catching as he  _ finally  _ pressed back inside. 

"Sounds good to me." 

Though they both planned on continuing the conversation later, the topic was quickly dragged out of their minds. 

**Author's Note:**

> Come yell at me on Tumblr at writing-mostly-probably! 
> 
> Also if u have any ideas as to why God is playing a practical joke on humans, lemme know. I'm super curious, and if you say something that peaks my curiosity I'll make a sequel! This applies to non dinosaur related things too. If you think of something that would be dumb but exactly what either of them would think of randomly during sex, I might just make this into a series!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Fanart] On the Subject of Dinosaurs](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25010689) by [SkyAsimaru](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyAsimaru/pseuds/SkyAsimaru)




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